Navigating uncertainty
I was sitting in a meeting room with 10-15 colleagues around me. We had a workshop. It was supposed to be fun, motivating and innovative. Instead I was feeling like I would faint. I was suffocating. I took a sip of water. I opened a window. It didn’t help. When your soul is suffocating, that is not enough. It felt like I was weak, wrong, going crazy. Everyone else had a good time. But not me. What's wrong with me?
Deeply I knew the answer. I knew that I was spending my time on the wrong things, prioritising what was not important to me. But what could I do instead? I couldn’t see any options. The sight was blurry. I felt stuck and overwhelmed.
I was longing to uncover the connection to myself. My true and authentic self. I wanted to connect to my own answers and know what I want in live.
This is a collective story: my old story and story of my clients. At this point in the story I realised, it was time to do something different. I couldn't wait anymore for dreams to unfold, I knew I had to take charge of my situation. I couldn't wait for someone to come and offer me a helping hand. I had to take myself seriously.
But where do I start? This is a critical point. One can spend years on frustration and figuring out what's next. Luckily, there are some proven steps that I will guide you through.
The very first step is to create safety, acceptance and raise the awareness of your state. Tell yourself an affirmation: "I am where I am supposed to be". You don't need to be anywhere else. In this stage you want to fully explore your challenge instead of finding solutions. The solutions will come naturally at a later stage. Way too many try to jump on to the solutions too early and therefore do not succeed in creating a sustainable change.
So let's look into how you can suport yourself right now. First step is to become aware of your self-sabotaging mechanism and how you run away from your inner truth. You can do this by answering the following questions:
What painful feelings do I need to face?
How do I explain away those feelings?
How do I decrease the significance of my situation and suffering?
How do I explain away why I am dissatisfied?
Where and when do I cross my own boundaries or allow others to do so?
Do I project my feelings on someone or something else?
Do I feel resentment or blame someone or something for how my life/career is going right now?
How do I need to take responsibility for my situation?
These questions will help you to understand your self-sabotaging mechanisms, and where you are stuck mentally and emotionally. Well done starting to uncover these answers! In the next post I will cover strategies for transforming these mechanisms into helpful coping.